grace flows down

A Quick Survey of Some Single Books

The Book: Lady in Waiting, by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall.
The Grade: C-
The One-Liner: Waiting? Waiting for what?

The title alone is a turn-off. Waiting for life to start? Waiting for permission to be a woman? The book tries too hard to be godly. It's purpose is to enourage girls to wait for Mr. Right, which of course is excellent in comparison to the alternative, but it is still misleading. Shouldn't we be encouraging girls to become God's best because that's what being an excellent woman is about?

To quote from Lauren Winner's Real Sex,
The Book: Knight in Shining Armor, by P.B. Wilson
The Grade: B-
The One-Liner: There's a reason it only costs $0.95 at Amazon!

An amusing read, if anything. "Knight" is incorporated into every chapter title. One good thing about this book is how the author encourages the reader to take a six-month break from dating to devote her time and focus on her relationship with Christ. This obviously doesn't apply to every reader, but it's a good idea and some of her activities for the inbetween are creative. The bad thing about this book is that by enouraging the six-month leave of absence, it creates a Prayer of Jabez dilemma. What happens afterwards when our hopes still go unfulfilled on the six-month time schedule? Do we lose faith?

The Book: Fine China is for Single Women, Too, by Lydia Brownback
The Grade: B
The One-Liner: There's nothing on the back of the box that said anything about marital status. Tea simply tastes better out of fine china. It's prettier too.

This book hits closer to the mark, although I take personal offense at the title. I've been an avid collector of kitchen items, pottery, and fine china since I was a preteen. I didn't know I had to wait until I was married to enjoy it! The book is published by P&R Publishing and the author is a member of Tenth Pres. in Philly, so that gives its theological grounding a better basis. But it still has a hint of being content in singleness only because Mr. Right is just around the corner which leaves a bad taste in the mouth. An artistic side note: The pages are tinted pink and have pictures of tea cups throughout the book which are not only irritating, they also bring down the book and author's potential seriousness. The book has some good thoughts, but still sounds too much like a pity-party, with an emphasis on not being left out.

The Book: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?, by Carolyn McCulley
The Grade: A+
The One-Liner: Now, there's a question I can relate to!

Written by a real single with real struggles. And her conclusion: First, we're Christians. Second, we're women. Third, we happen to be single right now. McCulley takes a fresh look at the Proverbs 31 woman and paints a portrait of the single woman, not the married one, and gives real life application in living single. Her thesis is that single women are called to be Christian women, embracing biblical femininity first and foremost. Marriage, it if happens, is no guarantee that you wouldn't be single again. Get your life in order, not because then you'll be ready for marriage, but because then you're pursuing a life of holiness that God requires of you. Then you can enjoy Him forever!

An excellent talk by McCulley can be downloaded here. If you're a single woman and you listen to the last ten minutes with dry eyes, I suggest you try again. Her take on Ruth and Naomi is incredible.

Here is a sampling of McCulley's realistic advice for the single:

Our most important identity is in the fact that we’re saved, not that we’re single. God has done something far more important for us. Your greatest need is not for a spouse. Your greatest need is for a savior and that’s already been accomplished through the death of Jesus Christ. So why doubt that God will provide a much lesser need?

“You’re not going to get married until you are content in your singleness.” It’s not really accurate theology, because God doesn’t require us to attain any state before he gives us a gift; it’s all of grace, it’s all unmerited. We should work to be contented women; we just shouldn’t attach to it the expectation of blessing.

When we’re tempted to wonder, “Can I trust God with my hopes?,” we need to remember that what we can see of our circumstances is not all that’s there. God’s silences are not his rejections; they are simply preparations for a greater revelation of Him.

Labels: book review

posted by Shannon Koons @ 11:44 AM