4.24.2007

Frugality = Quality?

On occasion, I enjoy reading the blogs random people whom I've never met, or at least highly unlikely to meet. I'm often drawn to homemaker's blogs - mostly so I can get snippets of married life for my own evaluation. After reading a few today, I'm greatly discouraged by what I see.

Someone tell me: Does successful homemaking have to be that difficult?

I was reading thoughts from several women who seem to obsess about money, in the opposite way of normal people. It's like their only and main goal in life is to beat last week's grocery bill. All they talk about is the things they do to cut corners, an image which makes me think of cutting those little snips in armholes seams -- get one too big and you've ruined the dress you're making.

Can you obsess about cutting so many corners that you ruin the life you're living?

I really want to be married. I want to be concerned about feeding my family for low costs. I love alternative home decorating (translated means used and cheap!). But if I ever get there, I sure do hope I get to enjoy it!

It always amazes me to see people so tied up in a knot over money that they forget to enjoy the moment God gave them. In the end, they are bitter toward people who decided to spend the extra $20 on such and such entertainment and are out having fun while they're at home worrying. Is that a quality life?

One of the blogs I read summed the money issue well:

So budgets aren’t really about just scraping by on the bare minimum. They’re about seeking balance in a well-rounded life. Therefore I concluded that comparing budgets is so much more than contrasting the bottom line in dollar signs. Whatever your budget is, for whatever category, if you can afford it and it makes you happy, then embrace it and enjoy!

So, I've been mulling over a theory for the last year on what "quality of life" means. One of the characteristics involved in this theory is the connection between life's quality and living presently. Then I read C.S. Lewis today and realized he's beaten me to the punch line:

He [God] therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy [God] has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them.

We [Satan] want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow's end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future, every real gift which is offered them in the Present.*

I think that part of seeing God work in everyday life is being free from worry and free to enjoy the moment, even if it costs money. Living frugally is wise and commended. I wish I was more frugal. But if ever obsessive frugality makes me bitter and prevents me from seeing God work in my life and through me presently, someone slap me hard.

God gave us life today, why not live it?

*C.S.Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, Letter 15.

6 Comments:

At Tuesday, April 24, 2007 4:55:00 PM, Blogger Amy K said...

Hey Shannon--good topic. :)

The three or four people I know personally who really put a lot of time and effort into saving every penny possible seem to actually enjoy the process! It's a challenge to them. It's like they are the CEO of x-amount of dollars and they try to be the best they can be in their domain. The ones I know personally are very intelligent people who have extra brain cells to devote to this at the end of the day. I haven't, however, read numerous blogs of people who seem bitter about other people's spending habits. So I can't relate to that, although I can imagine that it's true in some cases. I'm just saying, the ones I know wouldn't be bitter to find out that I'd bought a Starbucks the day before. I guess, in my experience, I've never felt judged by them. I usually laugh at, if not admire, their creativity!

These people also have budgets that some of us possibly can't relate to. So, in that case, I try not to compare myself. When you're home with kids, you often can't help pay the bills. So, you do whatever you can to help your husband pay the bills. Maybe if I were more like them I wouldn't have to kill myself working during naps and evenings to make a little extra. But I guess I've chosen my own path.

We all make our own decisions about “expending time and energy vs. expending money.” That will be an internal struggle for me personally for probably forever. And, again, the decision often boils down to the amount of resources you have. I don't know a single woman who would rather cook every meal than go to a restaurant now and then--or iron her husband's shirts vs. hire it done.

Having said all that ... I think you bring up a good point about being tied up in a knot about temporal things. We should never lose focus of eternity and obsess about money. Unfortunately, though, I think all of us have obsessed about it from time to time because it's a necessity in this life.

Thanks for posting! I think it's a thought provoking topic.

 
At Tuesday, April 24, 2007 7:36:00 PM, Blogger Catherine said...

I think levels of frugality are very personal decisions, but it's a topic that bears thinking about and benefits from really knowing yourself and your family. It's important to thoughtfully consider your circumstances, order your family's priorities, and then be sure that you are working within that framework.

For example, me being a full time mom is important to Josh and me. So I do a lot of frugal things to make that happen. It would be great to have a nicer house, nicer things, cable TV, a second car, designer clothes, etc etc, but to have those things, I'd have to go back to work full time. Staying home with my kids is a higher priority for me, so I do without those other things. Granted, it's just a little savings here and there, but it has really added up for us. But different families order their priorities in different ways, and as long as they are ok with it, that's fine.

Like Amy said, there are other families who live on far tighter budgets than we do, and those families would never dream of spending money on some of the things I spend money on. For example, a woman who writes articles in an email newsletter I get wrote a lot of tips on frugality that I wouldn't personally attempt at this point in my life, but then again she and her husband were raising 5 children on less than $20K per year and she was a full time homeschooling mom.

Personally I'm always trying to get better about making sure my spending is in line with my priorities and our family priorities. And I have found that in the year and a half or so that I've been home, I've come to really enjoy things that others probably think of as total drudgery, because I know that doing those things is helping my family.

I read a lot of homemaking blogs too, and generally I think the frugality posts are more about the thrill of getting a really good deal, getting more with your limited budget, and adding to the quality of life for the bloggers' families. When blogs come out a little strongly on issues like this though, I tend to think it has more to do with the blogger's frustration with being constantly asked to justify their lifestyle choices to people who don't have the same priorities.

You're right though that we have to be careful about our attitudes and not pin our joy on material things (either having them or not having them). Learning to be content with your circumstances is hard no matter what position you're in: whether you're frugal, in debt up to your eye-balls, or independently wealthy.

Good post, sorry for my verbose response!

 
At Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:16:00 PM, Blogger Shannon Koons said...

Thank you both for your well-thought responses and for answering my question. I appreciate both of you as role models and I like hearing how successful married women survive -- hence why I'm glad you're still my friends even if I'm single...

Here's where I make myself vulnerable: I think deep down I'm afraid that somehow my single status is connected to money. I see/read of penny pinching lives and I think "I could never do that. I don't know how!" Then I think maybe that's what the godly man out there is looking for in a wife. It really scares me to think maybe I'm too expensive to make a good wife. Yes, I know I have a complex...

 
At Wednesday, April 25, 2007 12:04:00 PM, Blogger Catherine said...

Shannon you shouldn't think that! If you had known me 5-10 years ago you would have laughed at the idea of me being frugal - I was the total opposite. But I bet if you were in a situation where you needed to make ends meet you would surprise yourself with how quickly you'd learn to do things differently, and without hating your life.

I think godly men who don't bring home huge salaries probably would be put off by a woman with a princess complex, but I don't think you fall into that category at all. No worries! :)

 
At Wednesday, April 25, 2007 2:27:00 PM, Blogger Alaina said...

Great topic, Shannon! I definitely would not worry about not being a good wife or "wife material." :) God won't give you more than you can handle! You would be surprised at what you are able to do when called upon to be frugal. And it just depends on your personal family circumstances how far you need to go (or want - some people do love it!). God calls us to be good stewards but that does not look the same for every family.

I'll admit to sometimes reading homemaking blogs and feeling exactly like you do - I could never do that. :) I also sometimes feel like I must be a failure to not be nearly as frugal as some (my husband is quick to remind me that I am not others!).

The difficulty for me is balancing time vs. money (as Amy discussed). They take turns winning!

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. Sorry it's a bit disjointed.

 
At Wednesday, April 25, 2007 6:09:00 PM, Blogger Amy K said...

Shannon, you are precious and I definitely don't think you should worry about being "too expensive." I certainly don't think of you as being focused on materialism. Also, I don't think it's a crime to enjoy quality things. I think having extra things (which most of us DO have extra--it's just a matter of how much extra) is a blessing that God wants us to enjoy as a gift from Him, without feeling guilty about it.

Quality of life IS important--and I know you already enjoy things that help make the quality of life better without having to spend big bucks. Things like baking from scratch, cooking, creative decorating, playing music. Someday your husband and children will benefit from all of these gifts and talents that contribute to quality of life without costing a lot of money.

You're already well on your way to being a thrifty homemaker someday--even if you never once use a cloth diaper or wash out all the old zip-loc bags to reuse them. :-)

 

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